Asperger's and Independent Living

People with Asperger's tend to have trouble with independent living. They will either have to live with someone all of their lives or go through assisted living training from a life coach or something in order to get good enough practice to live on their own successfully. Some succeed, others fail, but it is the effort that actually counts.

In my case, I've lived with my parents my whole breathing life. I have never wanted to leave simply because everything works and it is extremely convenient. I try to help out when I can, I complain a lot but thats because my brain messes up and I get frustrated so I lash out. I pretty much have paid for everything I own with my own money, except for Christmas presents given to me by others. I have never been able to hold down a job, but I have made it work by finding ways to make money, whether it be an online business, or writing articles. I live a quiet life, and I prefer it that way.

I haven't had success in relationships because I do not settle. I don't have the luxuries that other people have. I do not have my own car, I do not pay car insurance, and I do not have a real job. I have nothing to offer a female other than my sharp wit and sense of humor. It takes an awesome female to look past materialism and just go for the person for who they truly are.

I have no understanding of paying bills, or life insurance or anything of those means. I just wake up every day, live my life, go about my daily routine and just make things happen. I live a care free life and until I move out and get the necessary training required for me to live a healthy independent life, then it will continue at the pace it is at right now. I want a relationship some day and to be able to live in a nice apartment, but I will need money in order to do that which means I will have to be able to get a nice job and show that I can take care of myself. But due to my disability, it sometimes seems like it is not in the cards and that I was not supposed to be like everyone else. I guess that could be a good thing, but then again, I want to be "normal" whatever that means. But now that I think about it, I guess I should be proud of who I am, I'm making the best out of what I currently have, it might not be much, but it works for me. Someone will understand that some day and accept me and also, my life will turn out how it should over time. I just need to be patient.

Asperger's and Lashing Out

I don't know about you, but I tend to just start yelling my butt off at the people I care about most simply because I get frustrated. They never see that though, they just suspect I am just a crazy unhappy person that feels like making others feel bad. That is not it at all, I just get frustrated and the way my brain is wired, I just start yelling at them because i'm so irritated and frustrated, that is the only behavior that will get my point across. I am a mature adult, when your body matures your brain goes along with it, or it should any way. My mind sometimes performs just like a small child, I throw tantrums and try to get attention, and sometimes I interrupt conversations because at that particular moment I think it should be about me. Just like a small child, I get attention the same way they do, through non verbal communication and throwing something. It is not something I'm proud of, but it is the truth. It is probably like that for all "Aspies". Something triggers in your mind that you need to get your point across and thus you only know one way to do it and thats the same way you've been doing it all along.

We do not like change, and whenever something is about to change or someone puts pressure on us to change, it cannot be done and we scatter. We like things the way they are and we want to keep them that way, and when we feel threatened and think our personal world is going to be destroyed, we protect it at all costs. It is just a defense mechanism we have built for ourselves and because of it, we do not get hurt that way, but because we do not seem to feel empathy, we do not worry about getting hurt any way. We just lash out because we care and we want to do better and we are not fans of failure. When we feel as though we are going to fail, the frustration kicks in and we combat it the only way we know how. So apologies to all those friends and family that cared, from all of us in the "Aspie" community, we're sorry, just bare with us. We mean well!