Asperger's and Problems Dating

A person with Asperger's tends to not be able to read both sarcasm and sadness well. We will usually end up having to look at the face of a person longer than a usual person would, to read their emotion. I can tell you this much, "Aspies" and their reading ability is suspect at best. We were not created with the ability to understand feelings or emotion that well, it is one of our flaws and will always be one of our flaws. Whenever we will crack a joke or try to make someone laugh, we assume we were funny enough to get a rise out of someone but in actuality, we were not that funny and so they do not laugh and we are left wondering what happened.

When it comes to dating however, not only is it tough to gauge emotion from a female but it is difficult to tell if they like you or not. In my personal experiences, I have always pretty much blown it with women. I always either say something dumb or I overreact to them not talking to me for a few days. I assume by their daily absence, that they do not like me so I end up calling them out on it. I do that with other people too, if someone disagrees with me, I'll get frustrated and lash out and just go crazy for like a whole ten minutes. But on the other side of the coin, I love a healthy debate, so I just cannot figure myself out sometimes. Women can't figure me out and I am sure most other "Aspies" feel the same way. That is why based upon statistics alone, those on the autism spectrum do not do well in relationships and why most of them do not get married. So I can take that as two things, either I will never get married, or I will be one of those rare few who gets to actually make the plunge and live the social life I have always wanted.

Dating is kind of a science, chemistry and biology mixed together with both atoms working as a whole to create something amazing and rich in DNA. Most of the time people are successful at it and other times people are not. It all depends on what you bring to the table and how you set that table. With people on the autism spectrum, social relationships are the hardest things to grasp, all we want is to feel loved and appreciated and feel a sense of normalcy. We will always have that void to fill based upon our limitations and weaknesses with the social game. All it takes is one person to look through your limitations and accept them and then you're on your way to something amazing and what you've always wanted. The lack of recognition of social cues, the overreactions to something minor, that is just how our brains are wired and what we "Aspies" go through. Dating or no dating, either way it is a pretty unique way to go about life. Hopefully one day more and more neurotypicals (regular people in society) recognize that we too are people and that we have something to offer as well. And when we tell you upfront about our disorder and our social limitations you won't hold it against us in an argument and just go with it. That will be the day that we will feel equal and appreciated. Come on women, come on men, everyone likes a unique individual. I know I do, and I'm one of the unique ones.

Asperger's and Hatred!

Most of my adult life I felt severely empty, and I always needed to do something to help fill my emptiness. I almost always chose to ignore everything and just move about my days and weeks as if nothing was going on but I would always feel in the back of my mind that I did feel sorry for myself big time. Throughout junior high and high school I constantly made mistakes and I rubbed people the wrong way. I had girls take advantage of me and make me feel belittled and smaller in stature than I actually was. My "friends" were not actually my true friends simply because they would root against me in fights and for me to beat someone else up on occasion, to me that wasn't really a friend at all. There was always someone who made me feel badly and put me down and never was truly there for me. I was always bad at the social game, be it in romantic relationships and relationships with every single category of person I've come across in my life. I constantly said something or did something that was out of the norm, and people looked at me as if I was a weirdo who didn't know what I was doing and for that I became consistently isolated. It never failed how often that had occurred and how often it had remained the same. Nobody knew that I was considered different in a medical sense because no one asked, and no one thought of it and they just lumped me into the strange category and left it at that. I guess if they found out now they would definitely understand seeing as how we are much older now, but it still would not excuse the behavior and how they had treated me when I was younger. Besides that I feel good about myself and I am still going through the soul searching phase of life, I thought that phase was over but apparently I am still in it. I still feel like people hate me and that feeling will never fade. With that I will just go with things and try not to remember the past because it brings up a lot of negative memories and stresses me out way too much. I need to focus on the future and the now and hopefully people do not look at me as if I am strange any longer and will just befriend me and make me feel as though I am apart of society. That is really all I want and I think I deserve that much at least...Am I right?

Boy Have Things Changed

I remember when I was growing up and being misunderstood by people, I wanted and needed people there for me and I always felt like something was always missing. Be it guidance from someone or some kind of attention, I always felt as though a void was missing from my life. Everyday that had passed I tried to spend those passing days attempting to achieve the missing organism from my life. I would act funny in class to get attention, and do whatever it took to get noticed by girls and the "popular" crowd alike. I always felt different and hated feeling that way so I concentrated on filling the void that was missing. Not until I was an adult, and past my childhood did I realize what exactly I had and before being diagnosed with Asperger's, I had already done a self diagnosis just by researching on the internet. I had been in and out of neurologist's offices all my childhood and constantly had problems with depression. Everyone treated me normally growing up, and because of my siblings I had been treated just like them and that disguised my true self and I would sometimes forget that I had problems. Feeling normal and being treated normal is great therapy for psychological problems. Those times have come and gone though, and I've realized something over the years. Each year more and more money from charities and the government itself has put money into treatment for Autism and you even see advertisements through media of outfits like Autism Speaks! and National Autism Society. With those outfits, more research is put into the cause and the next generation of children will have help with their problems. Well here's my question; What about my problems growing up? What about the people like me and their problems? The help wasn't there, not unil the mid 1990's was there even an inkling of hope or even an idea of Autism in general. It has been very frustrating knowing that I did not have that help growing up, and instead of wasting my time being in and out of neurologist's offices, I could have had the right research done to prevent most of my psychological problems. Do not get me wrong, I love today's children and think they have tons of promise in this world of ours and think they will do some amazing things with all the education resources offered to them nowadays. I just feel as though to be fair for all generations, it never should have taken this long for disorders like this to get noticed or come to fruition. I hope to give back one day and help as best I can based on life experience alone and show the next generation that even though they have problems right now, they'll eventually surpass and things will get better. For right now I'm just venting my frustration and sending a message to the research analysts out there that they should put together more opportunities for adults like me and those that I know. Hopefully this gets the point across, if not, I will keep pulling, like I've always done. Remember, its great therapy to feel a sense of normalcy in this world.